“My Wife’s Boyfriend”

“My Wife’s Boyfriend” – November 2019

The story of a boy and his mixtape.

After a busy summer post-“Firesword,” we were itching to get back to basics: writing a song based on the first idea that came to mind. Our first idea was actually “Death Breakfast,” but at least that got the creative juices flowing. Also out of that day’s jam session was a synth and guitar sequence and the silly phrase “My Wife’s Boyfriend” and we were off to the races.

At some point we decided the song sounded sort of like the Smiths, with a jangly guitar riff and a Morrissey-esque vocal affectation. Rose, Andrew’s girlfriend and a huge Smiths fan, helped us recreate several Smiths album covers. We used The Queen is Dead as inspiration for our cover, and several others (see below) to promote the song.

Subliminally, perhaps, we went further still. On the Smiths track “Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others,” there’s a fade-in and fade-out at the beginning before finally introducing the real track. On “My Wife’s Boyfriend,” there’s a fake fade-out at the end before the song fades right back in again for a final joke. Rose made the connection instantly, but we had no idea.

When we first shared the name of the song with friends, several thought it would be about polyamory. Unfortunately we are neither brave nor mature enough to write that song. “My Wife’s Boyfriend” is closer to home, a song about immaturity to an absurd degree. Perhaps one day we’ll trust ourselves to write from more diverse perspectives than “dumb straight dude.”


I, I’m giving up, again on you
Oh, I can’t pretend these feelings aren’t true
The sky has turned to gray from blue
He doesn’t love you like I do; he loves you more

You gave me a chance to change my ways
And now I stay
In the guest bedroom next to

My Wife’s Boyfriend
My Wife’s Boyfriend

He sleeps in her room every night
I’m next door, waiting for the light
I go to the fridge, steal a fancy beer,
That he bought with the money from his job

A dumb IPA called “I Pine for the Fjords”
He gives her the gifts that I can’t afford
I’m kind of broke, but I live for my art:
A brand new mixtape I’m producing myself

I’m late on rent, she asks me to leave
I just turn up my beats
No I won’t live in peace with

My Wife’s Boyfriend
My Wife’s Boyfriend
(My Wife’s Boyfriend)
(My Wife’s Boyfriend)

I’m falling apart, I scream and I shout
But it’s too late, my wife kicked me out
I lower my head, I’m lost in defeat
Then I remember my Mom lives across the street
I take to the basement that floods in the rain
My dad’s in the attic with his model trains
I flop on the couch, think I’m I’m finally free
Guess who’s already watching TV?

My Mom’s Boyfriend
My Mom’s Boyfriend
(My Mom’s Boyfriend)
(My Mom’s Boyfriend)
(My Mom’s Boyfriend, etc)