News

Menace of the Mall

Whenever you walk into a music shop, there’s that part of you that just wants to go ham on everything around you. You restrain yourself, however, because you’re not a jerk. Luckily, the central character of our new song is a jerk, so you can live vicariously through them! “Kicked Out Of Guitar Center” started…
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#drunkonfall

Grab a few pumpkin spice lattes, smash some Halloween candy, and get ready to (rock and) roll in a pile of fallen leaves. Our new song, “Drunk On Fall,” is the new official Anthem for Autumn™️. We went full Blink-182 on this one, so enjoy the pop-punk energy and a catchy hook of “na na…
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“The Concert” Is Here!

30+ Songs, dozens of genres, and 50+ minutes of music. A fully playable, text-based, choose-your-own-adventure game. Welcome to The Concert: An Interactive Aural Odyssey! The Concert is both an album and a game. You can play the game now in your browser, on desktop and mobile. In the game, you inhabit the character of “the…
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The Sound Check EP

A few months ago we announced our next project, “The Concert: An Interactive Aural Odyssey,” an album / choose-your-own-adventure game. Now we are pleased to report that recording is complete, the game has been created, and we’re nearly done with final mixing and testing of the music and game respectively! Soon the game will be…
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Our Next Project

Here at These Stains Enterprises, we take every ridiculous idea very seriously. So when Andrew said “let’s make a choose-your-own-adventure album,” we had no choice but to comply to the fullest extent possible. And so, we are proud to present our next project, The Concert: An Interactive Aural Odyssey. 30-ish songs. Branching storylines. Dozens of…
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Next Time on Butter Island

Will the Salted and Unsalted butter settle their differences? How will Jessica handle the shocking news? All this and more steamy, melty action next time, on Butter Island! I guess Andrew was watching Love Island and wrote some music in the style of the theme song? Well we reverse-engineered a promo for our new hit…
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See You In Hell, Santa!

That’s right, our Yuletide classic “Christmas In Hell” is now available on all major streaming services! Give it a listen at bit.ly/stains-xmas or wherever you listen to music!

December Livestream!

These Stains are BACK and ready to rock the best venue in Boston: Ben’s Living Room! We’ll be livestreaming an evening of new songs, classics, and covers on Saturday, December 10th at 7:30pm ET. You can tune in at twitch.tv/thesestains – subscribe to get notified when we go live! – or join the Facebook event.…
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Blow It Up

Elon’s gonna blow up Twitter. Mark is gonna blow up Meta. And if our new song is actually a prophecy, Jeff’s space program might just blow up the moon itself. “Blew Up The Moon” is an imagined retelling of the romance between a billionaire, his lost love, and the space program that would save it…
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Taste the Spooky!

This Halloween, These Stains has some treats (and also some tricks) for you! Let the haunting orchestration of “The Tate of the Smell of a Horse” bury you to the deepest (cheese) cave of your darkest fears. And prepare to get right frightened as you stroll down “Spooky Street,” an instrumental with a scary surprise.…
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