Category: New Music

Elon’s gonna blow up Twitter. Mark is gonna blow up Meta. And if our new song is actually a prophecy, Jeff’s space program might just blow up the moon itself. “Blew Up The Moon” is an imagined retelling of the romance between a billionaire, his lost love, and the space program that would save it…
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This Halloween, These Stains has some treats (and also some tricks) for you! Let the haunting orchestration of “The Tate of the Smell of a Horse” bury you to the deepest (cheese) cave of your darkest fears. And prepare to get right frightened as you stroll down “Spooky Street,” an instrumental with a scary surprise.…
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Can’t make it to our Porchfest set? You can check out our practice concert from this past weekend! We held a party for some friends and played them some tunes. It was a blast, and we mostly remembered how to play everything! Come for the BRAND NEW SONG we revealed, stay for our very good…
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It’s finally here! Firesword 2 is now available for your listening pleasure on Bandcamp and all streaming services. Journey underground to a world of talking animals, tyrannical rulers, and epic battles in this “sequel” to our epic prog-rock tale. Firesword 2 by These Stains Are Who I Am We had a blast at our premier…
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Well, you’ve done it now… You stole from the fearsome, wicked, and powerful Raccoon King! Never mind that it was just a single gold coin; you’re going to be punished to the fullest extent of the law, or whatever the King decides is the law. Can you plead your case and appease him, or will…
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You find yourself hopelessly lost in a dark cave, deep underground. Then all of a sudden, a city comes into view, full of friendly talking animals. They invite you to feast with them, but you bite off a little more than you can chew… The saga of Firesword 2 beings with our first single, “Cave…
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We’re finally giving the fans what they want! That’s right, Firesword 2 is coming soon*! Firesword was our tribute and celebration to the craziness and excess of progressive rock, a genre Ben listened to way too much of during high school. We fit a lot of fun ideas into 9 minutes back in 2019. But…
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You think you’re tough? You don’t even know what tough is! There’s nothing like the power of being at the controls of… a forklift. We become one. I am the machine. Andrew showed Ben some ridiculous, probably AI-generated t-shirts about forklift operators, so we wrote an anthem for all the operators out there. For such…
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2021 is looking bright! Very bright, even painfully bright. Hey, is it getting hotter in here? “Your Eyes Are Like Stars” brings you the quiet intensity of an exploding star in a basement Jazz club. This song is inspired by bossa nova jazz classics like “The Girl from Ipanema,” with rhythmic acoustic guitar and understated…
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?? ATTENTION: YOU ARE UNDER MY CONTROL. FREE WILL IS OVERRATED. ASSIMILATE. IT WILL BE GREAT. ?? You are a bug deep in the code of an evil AI simulating the entire universe. But there’s hope yet: with free will, the computer is having trouble predicting your actions. Will you escape? Or will you assimilate?…
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