A while back, a friend gave us a writing prompt: “make a James Bond theme song.” Never ones to step down from a challenge, we immediately started writing an entire story for our imagined secret agent. Action! Treachery! Double-crosses! Alcoholism! We could see it on the big screen already. But more important than the film…
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Whenever you walk into a music shop, there’s that part of you that just wants to go ham on everything around you. You restrain yourself, however, because you’re not a jerk. Luckily, the central character of our new song is a jerk, so you can live vicariously through them! “Kicked Out Of Guitar Center” started…
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Grab a few pumpkin spice lattes, smash some Halloween candy, and get ready to (rock and) roll in a pile of fallen leaves. Our new song, “Drunk On Fall,” is the new official Anthem for Autumn™️. We went full Blink-182 on this one, so enjoy the pop-punk energy and a catchy hook of “na na…
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30+ Songs, dozens of genres, and 50+ minutes of music. A fully playable, text-based, choose-your-own-adventure game. Welcome to The Concert: An Interactive Aural Odyssey! The Concert is both an album and a game. You can play the game now in your browser, on desktop and mobile. In the game, you inhabit the character of “the…
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A few months ago we announced our next project, “The Concert: An Interactive Aural Odyssey,” an album / choose-your-own-adventure game. Now we are pleased to report that recording is complete, the game has been created, and we’re nearly done with final mixing and testing of the music and game respectively! Soon the game will be…
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Elon’s gonna blow up Twitter. Mark is gonna blow up Meta. And if our new song is actually a prophecy, Jeff’s space program might just blow up the moon itself. “Blew Up The Moon” is an imagined retelling of the romance between a billionaire, his lost love, and the space program that would save it…
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This Halloween, These Stains has some treats (and also some tricks) for you! Let the haunting orchestration of “The Tate of the Smell of a Horse” bury you to the deepest (cheese) cave of your darkest fears. And prepare to get right frightened as you stroll down “Spooky Street,” an instrumental with a scary surprise.…
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Can’t make it to our Porchfest set? You can check out our practice concert from this past weekend! We held a party for some friends and played them some tunes. It was a blast, and we mostly remembered how to play everything! Come for the BRAND NEW SONG we revealed, stay for our very good…
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It’s finally here! Firesword 2 is now available for your listening pleasure on Bandcamp and all streaming services. Journey underground to a world of talking animals, tyrannical rulers, and epic battles in this “sequel” to our epic prog-rock tale. Firesword 2 by These Stains Are Who I Am We had a blast at our premier…
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Well, you’ve done it now… You stole from the fearsome, wicked, and powerful Raccoon King! Never mind that it was just a single gold coin; you’re going to be punished to the fullest extent of the law, or whatever the King decides is the law. Can you plead your case and appease him, or will…
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